Haven't slept yet, was watching Dexter
Ive decided that I am going to only eat whole foods;
I just had ALOT of crackers; i think they are graham, not sure though but i pretty much ate the entire bag,
I feel terrible for this.
my new rules :
if its in a plastic wrapper, I cant eat it
if it comes in a box i cant eat it.
if i have to heat it in the microwave I cant eat it.

This leaves fruits and vegetables and cheese.
my muscles will thank me as well =)
i want my body to only have live foods, thus giving me life.

Thoughts are the roots of actions;
actions produces results.
hence, I must first think and then act in accordance the results I want to produce.

These is the argument I must use against my alter- ego inside my head who tries to make me fail.
I call her "the hitchhiker".
The one who convinces to hand in assignments late, put garbage food into my body; and convinces me to procrastinate on just about everything imaginable.
she is the one who is behind me when i look into my eyes in the mirror; she is my pain from childhood who is terrified of success, because it brings attention and I as well as hitchhiker would much rather hide in the shadows.
I am changing that today.
I will reach for the top, and go for the gold; I will not settle for mediocrity anymore.
I will be the best that I can.

I am 21 years old 5'3.5 , and on the Brink being placed on Academic suspension because last year ( my first year of university was an embarrassment; I failed the majority of my classes and I know that i can do better) this year, I am engaged in my studies and am taking it very seriously; Although I have handed in a few late assignments - this is a habit, a habit such as this will hold me back in life, it will stop today.

My weight : for years, I have struggled with my weight, I went from 170's when i was 13, to 126-129 now at 21,
up until 2 weeks ago, I was doing an hour of cardio a day and strength training every other day and eating very healthy and taking care of myself.
Then something happened, when people started to notice my weight loss and improvement in shape, I panicked.. I realized that over time i started eating really bad foods.. and although theoretically i look the same as i did last week, and i know i am more toned and thinner than ever before; I feel like a blob because I know Ive been eating terrible foods day in day out vowing to stop and making excuses every time i pass a convenient store as to why i should buy a bag of chips or a chocolate bar, or why i should pick up some fries.
This will stop. I will look success in the eyes and smile, I will welcome the attention i get and take the compliments as COMPLIMENTS and not as a spotlight.

Here is what I will do,
i will do 45 minutes of cardio, every morning 5/days a week; weekends will be my time to do whatever id like, whether excersises or not. Strength training will continue to be a part of my routine, as it is giving me amazing tone and definition in my arms.

Most importantly,
Im going to slowly transfer to veganism; I will eat cheese for now until i decide to stop, but cheese will be the only animal product I consume.
This is strictly for health reasons.
I don't eat red meat, i eat chicken and fish and turkey; however, I will cut those out and perhaps have them twice a year instead.

Refer to my ticker for weight changes, as i will be updating every two weeks ( the ticker)
I wont be posting my intake; i think that is a little bit obsessive.
I will however post feedbacks on my exercise and how I am doing in school.
After university, I want to join the RCMp and that is also one of the reasons why i want to eliminate bad foods
from my life once and for all.

I will have control over my life, I already have grasped failure by the horns by writing this entry and am casting it out of my life for good from this moment on.

I will be someone that I am proud of.